I could still recall the days of writing telegrams. That was
before the fax machine, internet and email. Writing a telegram
meant economy of words and so obvious verbs and needless
adjectives had to be omitted.
Today, with the advent of email and other cheap sources of
communication you don't have to be that paranoid about your
message-except you are writing an advertisement. When writing a
classified ad for example, every word must count in the small
space allowed and so word choice becomes very important.
But word choice is not only about being brief.
Even when crafting a long sales letter you should try and avoid
using the personal pronouns: "we, me, I, our,us". The sales
message should be about your prospects and not about your
company. The "we syndrome" is a common error but it can easily
be
avoided. A sales message should state upfront the benefit to the
customer not parade how many awards the company has received in
the past ten years. Whenever possible then the copy should be
written in the third person.
There are some other words that are very common in advertising
but are just too vague to have any force. Great copy is always
specific. "How to make $3,567.23 from your home in 30 days!" has
more force than "How to make money from home." Here are some
commonly used words that lack force because their meaning is too
ethereal:
"It" - State what "it" is rather than leave "it" for the reader
to figure out. This word can often be replaced by what 'it'
represents or stands in place of.
"Quality" - This has a similar meaning to "personality". We
often hear people say that someone has personality. But everyone
has a personality whether good or bad. The same holds for
quality. Every product or service has some quality which the
customer will be the ultimate judge of.
Superlatives such as "tastiest, best, fastest, strongest,
superior, minimize, optimize". The problem with these words is
that they instill doubt in the readers because these claims
appear unsubstantiated. These words lack power because they are
not measurable. Take the word "superior" for example. What
criterion or measurement was used to judge this product as
superior and by how much?
"Solution" - This word cannot stand on its own. If you are
selling a product or service it is also obvious that you are
selling the solution to a problem, so state what
the solution is rather than just using the word.
"Technology" - This word is commonly used to
suggest innovation and newness. But customers have little
concern about the technology that is behind the products they
buy. They are only concerned about the benefit they derive from
these
products and services. How many drivers are really
concerned about the technology that's under the hoods of the
vehicle they drive? They are really only concerned that the
vehicle is reliable and gives them some social status.
"Difference" - Rather than stating that you
are different from your competitors state the difference instead.
Just saying "different" means little and is
just filling space. The statement "We make all the
difference" doesn't leave the prospect more educated
than before reading your sales message.
Consider the following advertiser's blurb:
"We make all the difference because of our superior
quality and solutions we offer."
It's like junk food - a lot of flavor but zero nutritional value.
This statement means little because it's not specific at all.
It creates more questions than answers and leaves the reader
totally confused. And this is the last thing you want to do to a
customer.
Go to any website and you'll see statements such as "can save
you time and money", (well how much?) "creates website in less
time" (less than 2, 4, 100 hours?), "maximize your gas mileage"
(by how much 1%, 5%, 40%?). All these statements will triple
their effectiveness by using numbers (note that I gave a
quantity, 'triple').
The more specific your message is the more believable you will
appear. Using a bunch of superlatives only makes you seem
self-serving. Customers are immune to this type of hype and
filters out these claims like a squirrel discards peanut shells.
When making any comparison in your sales letter state the
baseline, use numbers and give a time period whenever possible.
In this way you don't have to use superlatives because the
numbers will speak for themselves. If you follow this simple
rule your sales conversion rate will increase by 4.7% within 29
days of putting this into effect.
Even though that last statement was hypothetical you can sense
its power because specific numbers were used instead of just
saying 'your sales will increase'.
I think it's time to review your sales message and sweep away the
chaff words leaving the pure wheat behind.
You'll be 9.9% happier that you did!
About the Author
Ray Edwards is a master copywriter, published author and Internet
Marketing Consultant. His copywriting clients have claimed up to
1,600% increase in their comversion rates just from using his
services. He is an expert in writing sales copy for the web. He
has studied extensively the relationship between website
structure and design as a factor in internet sales success. You
may visit his website at: http://www.webcopy-writing.com
Written by: Ray L. Edwards
